Horse Manure Park

I've come to the end of my seven night tour of duty and now I am enjoying "Freedom Monday." That's what I call every other Monday, as it is the beginning of seven days off and gives me a chance to be among the living for a little while. I started this particular Freedom Monday in typical fashion: enjoying an early morning Iguana in the garage with a Diet Coke while my loved ones slumber a few extra minutes. It hasn't been a bad week at work, at least not compared to some weeks, but I am ready to be off for a while. Seven consecutive nights may not sound like a lot, but it does get a little long. Still, I get those beautiful seven days off in return, so I won't cry too hard. It is starting to sputter snow now; I've heard we are supposed to get 1 to 3 inches of the white shit before it's all said and done. We shall see. Winter is no longer welcome here. I don't think I am alone in that sentiment. I will update again later in the week. I am sure I wil...

It is the end of a whirlwind week and now it is back to the grind. I hope my week at work goes as fast as this past week did. We saw a lot of highway this week, having traveled to St. Paul on Tuesday, back Wednesday... then to Bismarck, North Dakota on Friday and back Sunday. That's a lot of road time. Thank goodness the roads were good and our trips were safe. Also thank you to the Stokes' for letting us borrow their portable DVD player. Lesson One : I promised myself I would not buy a DVD player to entertain my child on long trips, but Phyllis didn't raise no fool. My philosophy has changed: I am not getting soft, I am taking advantage of modern technology to prolong my sanity as a parent. Lesson Two : I've said it before and I'll say it again, anyone who babbles on about global overpopulation has never traveled I-94 from Fargo to Bismarck. But once we got to Bismarck we had a great time. Thanks to Sara and Jon for their hospitality! We got to visit wi...

We are in the patch of light on the audience to the extreme left of the picture. I'm the fat guy rocking out!

Set List: LOST HIGHWAY BORN TO BE MY BABY YOU GIVE LOVE A BAD NAME RAISE YOUR HANDS RUNAWAY I LOVE THIS TOWN SLEEP WHEN I'M DEAD w/ Jumpin' Jack Flash BLAZE OF GLORY w/ Knockin' On Heaven's Door intro MISS FOURTH OF JULY WHOLE LOT OF LEAVIN' IN THESE ARMS WE GOT IT GOIN' ON IT'S MY LIFE BAD MEDICINE w/ Shout I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU (YOU WANT TO) MAKE A MEMORY BED OF ROSES WHO SAYS YOU CAN'T GO HOME HAVE A NICE DAY KEEP THE FAITH LIVING ON A PRAYER ENCORE: SOMEDAY I'LL BE SATURDAY NIGHT WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE

My ears are ringing, my throat is raw and my voice is hoarse, and I couldn’t be happier! Boy, did 18,000 people get their money’s worth Tuesday night at the Xcel Center. Enjoy the videos; they were taken Tuesday night by someone in the nosebleed section, but I thought the sound and image quality was good, considering the chaos in the arena that night! Bon Jovi put on one heck of a show. For 2 hours and 30 minutes everyone was on their feet for one the best shows I’ve seen in the last 15 years. Daughtry opened the show, and I approached it with an open mind. Lead singer Chris Daughtry was on American Idol, a show I’ve never watched (believe it or not) and I will give him credit -- the guy can sing... but so can Julio Iglesias and Englebert Humperdinck. This Daughtry character seemed to think he was a star. At one point during his 45 minute set (which was about 40 minutes too long for me), he said, “If you are sitting down, I need you to stand up and sing this song with me.” An...

First I would like to wish a very happy birthday to my two "big sisters," Kathy and Mel. They share the same birthday; how is that for coincidence? At least it makes it easy to remember! I hope they had a special day; they are two great ladies and I am proud to call them family. They say behind every good man is a better woman. I think that's true, and I bet my brothers would agree with me! I think it was Beth's aunt Suzette's birthday yesterday. Happy birthday, Suzette! I don't know if you read this, but just in case you do... I hope your day was a good one! We are 72 hours and counting to concert time. Man, I can't wait! Not only do Beth and I have the concert to look forward to, but we both have the entire week off together. That's the first time since 2005 that we've had this much time off together at one time. Thanks to Grandma & Grandpa for watching Ava on Tuesday and Wednesday so we can have a little "us" time. So...

My first night back to work last night. I got up at 2 p.m. this afternoon and the eaves were dripping, the sun was bright and I just couldn't bring myself to go back to bed, even though I was still tired. So I let the dogs out and let them run (they were delighted with the warm weather, too), poured a cup of Folgers and puffed on an Iguana out in the garage as I listened to the wonderful "splish-splash" of the eaves melting away winter. My outdoor thermometer says 48 degrees (yes, above zero) right now and it is sitting in the shade. I think there is hope that winter will not last forever. We are one week and counting to Bon Jovi. They have four shows left until they hit the Twin Cities. It's funny how a person can wait for so long with so much anticipation for an event like this, and to the band it's just another stop on their itinerary. But I know it will be a great show and I just can't wait to see it. I had read that the video system alone for thi...

Like a good daddy, tonight I was reading the story of Bambi to Ava. I've always been a sucker for that story and it's always left me a little teary-eyed.... until tonight. Did you know that Bambi committed incest? The sick little shit! Don't believe me? Early in the story, Bambi comes nose to nose with a fawn. "Bambi, this is Faline," says Bambi's mother. "Her mother is your Aunt Ena." Later in the story, Faline squirts out two fawns in the thicket and the proud father, Bambi, stands nearby protecting his family. Did anyone else realize that Bambi did the horizontal bop with his first cousin? Or did it just take me 38 years to figure it out? Man, is this disturbing . After I figured out the disgusting undertones of this story, I took the Bambi book out to the garage and lit it on fire. Ava doesn't need to know about incest. There's already enough of that in Crow Wing county. Walt Disney, you were one sick bastard. The next time I eat venis...

The past few weeks have been filled with bad news. An old school mate of mine, Kirk Harms, was tragically killed on his farm in Bertha. My good friend Brian and Beth’s aunt Gayle both totaled out their cars while doing their best automotive impressions of “Stars on Ice.” Thank God no one was hurt. And a couple days ago, my cousin Corey was accidentally shot in the head. More than anyone else, it sounds like he is the big winner of the lottery. I’ve heard no news in the last day or so, and as a nurse I know he’s not out of the woods yet, but my hunch is that things are going to be alright… nothing compared to what might have been. Keep him in your prayers -- God knows he’s already got a guardian angel looking out for him! I need to talk about something positive. Can I get a witness?! About now, some of you probably think I have some kind of weird man-love for Bon Jovi. I think it is time I clear the air about that -- this isn't some freaky "groupie" gay thing. Those of yo...

[Editor's note: don't look now, it's another football posting. 'Tis the season!] Another day of free agency and another huge signing by the Vikings: wide receiver Bernard Berrian. After checking a few message boards, I noticed that quite a few Vikings fans are less than ecstatic over this signing. I am just blown away by their reaction. In my opinion, signing Berrian is a double whammy: we instantly upgrade our wide receiver tandem significantly, and we severely weaken a divisional rival’s offense (the Bears have lost both Muhammad and Berrian -- I guess when you've got Nathan Vasher and Devin Hester on your roster you don't need anything else?). I’ve concluded that these Vikings “fans” bitching about Berrian are the same people who threw a fit when the Vikings traded for Steve Hutchinson ( why would you need an All-Pro guard? All they do is block! What are the Vikings thinking?! ). They are also the same people who were shaking their heads when the Vikings d...