Horse Manure Park

What a night! Ava was up at 1:30 AM puking her guts out, and she spewed every 10 to 15 minutes until about 5:00 AM. This was explosive, projectile, no-warning-until-it's-flying-out-of-the-pie-hole kind of hurling. I got puked on twice, Beth got puked on once. There was puke all over the floor -- it was enough to make you puke. I made Beth go to bed around 3:30 AM (hey, I'm not the pregnant one here, she needs her rest!) and I stayed up with Ava until 8:30 AM. Took a power nap until Beth had to go to work. It's about 1:30 in the afternoon now and Ava hasn't thrown up for about three hours, so it's slowed down a bit. She was able to keep some 7 -Up down. She'd never had pop before, but drank about 1/4 of a glass and asked for more. I told her maybe later. So far, so good. Not sure what is wrong, she's not running a fever, just blowing chunks. Poor kid. I hope it's just a quick flu bug. Beth is working until 7:30 tonight. We'll all be read...

It's time to be honest with myself, my friends and my family. I have a confession to make. I hope you'll forgive me for this. Please understand this is a disease and I can't control myself. I need your help and support. I don't need your scorn and ridicule. I love Hamburger Helper! I LOVE IT, I LOVE IT, I LOOOOOOVE IT!!!! I just wanted to share that with you all. Please don't judge me.

Overheard in the Branstner household today: "Papa, are you going potty?" "Yes, sweetie, I'm going potty." "Good job! You're a big girl now." "Thanks, Ava."

I sat down tonight and thought it would be kind of fun to watch some high school basketball, since the Minnesota state tournament is going on right now. I have to admit I ended up changing the channel after about 20 minutes. You see, at some point in the last couple of decades, basketball stopped becoming a team sport. What I saw tonight was a bunch of selfish, three-point shooting showboats, with no concept of teamwork, no respect for the game, no respect for their opponents and certainly no respect for the officials. It was absolutely disgusting and I sure won't waste my time watching the remainder of the tournament this weekend. The old saying is true: You reap what you sow. And the prevailing "winning is everything" attitude which these kids have been raised on has sown a whole lot of crap.

...okay, not really. Ish, that would be gross. It's about time I update things. It is pouring rain (but not men). I've heard this crap is supposed to turn into snow during the night and leave a big mess by tomorrow morning. Bring it on. I'm used to it. Come on Old Man Winter! Is this all ya got? Ya big pussy. We've had a busy few days. Our good friends Korey and Shelli became grandparents again late last week. Scott and Sammi are proud new parents of a bouncing baby girl. A drink is called for, but the challenge is finding an opportunity to drink it together. We also had a long overdue dinner and visit with the Stokes's on Sunday. Jon grilled brats and burgers -- aaahh, spring time! -- and we had a nice long visit. How overdue was it? I finally gave Jon his birthday present. His birthday was November 22nd. So we kind of lucked out over the past few days. Spaghetti at the Dau's Friday, grilling at the Stokes's Sunday. (In these hard economi...

We got our taxes done yesterday, then went over to Grandma and Grandpa's for a delicious spaghetti supper. Now, Grandma and Grandpa have all kinds of toys for the grandkids and one of Ava's favorites is a collection of plastic cows, calves and bulls. She will sit for hours playing with the plastic animals and have a grand ol' time. These animals are very sturdy pieces of plastic and are, shall we say, highly detailed replicas. The bull in particular features a very pronounced pair of testicles on his underside and sure enough, after playing for a while, my curious three year-old began studying this interesting characteristic between the bull's legs. Before I knew it, Ava thrust the bull's hanging nut-sack in my face and innocently asked, "Papa, what's that her name?" And there I sat at my in-law's home trying to watch basketball with a plastic bull's scrotum sitting under my nose while thinking of something clever to say to scare my daugh...

The snow has been doing a peculiar thing lately. The last few days have been what they call "above freezing," a strange and magical occurrence in which frozen things become unfrozen. The snow has been slowly turning into an anomalous and unfamiliar liquid state, called "water," which seems to be evaporating into the atmosphere or soaking into the ground. We seem to be transitioning into a different chapter and I am concerned. I am told it is the arrival of a new and exotic setting, which, oddly enough, is called "Spring." It is a frightening time of year when the air becomes un-cold, vegetation comes alive and insects emerge from their secret hiding place to once again crawl the face of the earth. I suspect the root cause of this disparity is attributed to Earth being tilted on its axis at a 23.5 degree angle. As Earth revolves, our north pole tilts more toward the sun which causes an increase in solar radiation, thus causing an increase in environmen...