Horse Manure Park

I've been blogging like a madman lately. It's good therapy for me. Time for more therapy. So I've been chewing on this for the last 24 hours... a new roof? That just doesn't sound right to me. My house is only 12 years old. I found one small leak, a presumed leak at that. And this equals a new roof ? Howard and Phyllis did not raise a fool. Something just isn't right with this picture. In the back of my mind, I keep thinking that a contractor is going to tell me I need a new roof no matter what, especially if an insurance adjuster is not in the picture. Could this be the case? I am at a huge disadvantage here, because I am completely clueless when it comes to this kind of stuff. The only advantage I have is what's between my ears, and needing a new roof just doesn't sound right. Another red flag: The contractor who was here yesterday answered his phone right away, and was at our place about an hour after the call. While I appreciate his promptn...

Today has been a lazy day. Beth has been catching up on sleep. She got up at 8 a.m. Then took a nap at 9:30 a.m. Then she got up at 11 a.m. and we all went to Country Kitchen for breakfast, just for fun. For whatever reason, Ava was very well behaved and we had a very pleasant morning. Right now, Beth is laying on the couch taking another nap. I wonder if she's coming down with something? I know what you're thinking... and the answer is no, she's not. We had some rain over the weekend and I noticed that our water stain in the ceiling has grown ever so slightly (I outlined it with a pencil two weeks ago). So when we got home, we called a guy named Art Lordbock, who State Farm recommended. Incredibly, he answered his phone and said he'd be out today (we've tried to contacting another roofer who was recommended to us, but he has never returned our calls, despite leaving two messages. Yes, a typical contractor). Anyway, Art came out about an hour later, survey...

Just a funny observation tonight that I wanted to remember. Our boxer, Gracie, was laying on the floor tonight. She rolled over onto her back, all sprawled out, her legs pointing toward the ceiling, doing what I call "dog yoga." Ava came bounding over, sat down next to Gracie and patted her belly. She then grew very quiet as she studied the dog carefully. The silence was suddenly interrupted as Ava started counting Gracie's nipples. In Spanish. "Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco..." I suppose this isn't very funny to anyone else, but I blew coffee through my nose. For some reason, it just struck me as absolutely hilarious. (yes, I was sober.) Oh, to answer your question, Stacy... we have several tea parties a day. Some times with birthday cake, some times with cookies. And the answer to the trivia question: "Sweeping Booty" is known in most parts of the world (except mine) as "Sleeping Beauty." It's a big hit in our neck of the ...

A cold, blustery -- and yes, snowy -- day today. First snow I've seen of the year, and so it shall be for the next five months or so. I'm sitting here watching the World Series. Patti LaBelle absolutely butchered "The Star Spangled Banner" tonight. I sure hope my brother Dale didn't hear it; it might have given him a seizure. It was bad. I do mean B-A-D . My last night of work. I'm just waiting for the clock to say 10:30 p.m. so I can do my last eight hours and be off for a while. Want to see something funny? They say a picture is worth a thousand words, so here is snapshot of a day in Ava's life: This is the classic "Princess Ava" look. Notice the tiara, mutiple bracelets and necklaces. One of the necklaces is actually an eyepatch from a pirate costume, but it doubles as her "diamond." The ensemble is rounded out with a "princess dress" (a sun dress, really) pulled over the top of her clothes and a cute pair of pin...

This is Ava's "princess" cheerleader outfit. Everything is "princess" these days. And "Sweeping Booty." Can you guess what that is? I launched this site 52 weeks ago today. One year and 130 entries later, I guess that makes me an official "blogger." Beth went to New York Mills today to see her parents and her sister, Sara, who is visiting for the weekend. So I get a little quiet time tonight. Even though it is only 6:30 p.m., it's already dark outside. It's cloudy and cold, and there's even snow flurries forecasted for tonight and tomorrow. It is a great night to sit inside and enjoy a cup of coffee and watch a good college football game. If I didn't have to work, there would be a little Bailey's in that coffee.

I'm trying to stay awake, so I'll type a little something. I took the Pilot to Corral Auto right after work and Beth picked me up (we made a detour stop at Perkins to pick up a half dozen of their pumpkin muffins... yum!). They ran diagnostic tests from headlights to tailpipe and I am relieved that the only thing they found was "a very, very weak battery." (Whew!) They replaced the old one with a shiny new one, and since we are about to enter those nasty, ridiculously cold winter months, it is nice to have a brand new battery anyway. The timing turned out to be pretty good. So have no fear Dan's of Big Lake , you did not sell me a lemon! Or... perhaps "the dirt ball" is disappointed because his diabolical plan has been thwarted by fine Japanese engineering? I am also glad that I got that stereo code from "the dirt ball" a couple years ago, because I need it again now, since the battery was disconnected. Those anti-theft things are nice ...

As you can see, I've "redecorated" around here once again. I am getting more and more brave experimenting with different things. The picture above is Ava with her new bicycle helmet this summer. She was very proud of it and ran around the house for days on end with a helmet head. I've also added a couple of widgets which I think are kind of fun. The moon phase tracker is pretty cool, and I also added a little weather widget so you can see what the weather is like here. That should get a bit more interesting this winter when it gets nice and chilly. This has been a trying week so far. If you've been reading my blog for a while, you might remember last year at this time I discovered a hole in my camper's roof. It's October once again, so that must mean I have another hole in my roof, right? Right. Except this time it is in my house. Yesterday, I noticed a dried water stain around one of the light fixtures in the entry way. I tore the fixture apart an...

I would really like to thank everyone for their kind messages and e-mails about Martha. I hesitated to even say anything about her on my blog, because I didn't want people to think we were being "weird" about our dog. But as it turns out, many of you share the same feelings toward your pets. I was told by a couple people that once we had a child, our dogs wouldn't matter much anymore, but I have not found that to be the case. Actually, the older I get, the more sentimental I get about life's twists and turns. Maybe I'm not the only one who feels that way? A quick update on Martha: she has been doing okay since we started her on her meds and supplements. Her stomach has been fine and that was my main concern, because she's always been prone to a sensitive GI tract (our vet diagnosed her with Crohn's disease when she was just a puppy, after she started crapping slimey blood one day!). Dr. Eberts said she should tolerate her meds just fine, and as u...

I haven't written for a while. We've had a couple of bad days here at our place. I took Martha back to the vet yesterday because she's been having increasing trouble coordinating her back legs, which makes walking a challenge for her. I took her to one of the vets at Lakeland back in June and she was diagnosed with a neurological disorder, although it wasn't definitive. Yesterday she saw her primary vet, her doctor for the last 7 1/2 years. We have a great deal of confidence in Dr. Eberts, and we trust him very much. I am sad to report that he diagnosed Martha with degenerative myelopathy, or progressive neuroligic disorder. It is a terminal illness. There is no cure and there's no way to put it into remission. Dr. Eberts was very honest and open about what will eventually happen: Martha will lose use of her back legs and it will move forward to her front legs, ultimately resulting in brain stem death. It usually overcomes the dog in 6-12 months from onset o...

I got a birthday card from David Pundt yesterday. That was nice, huh? Except I had no idea who he was. Lucky for me, he conveniently attached his business card to my birthday card, asking me for his vote as house representative for district 12A. This pisses me off for two reasons. Reason one: someone from his campaign was able to obtain my birth date. It makes me wonder what else they obtained while they were at it? Folks, this is frightening. If David Allan Pundt thinks it is a neighborly gesture to send a complete stranger a birthday card -- even if I am a voter in his district -- he is terribly mistaken. I feel my privacy was violated. That does not sit well with me. Reason two: how dare this creepy bastard think he can “win” my vote by kissing my ass. This pissed me off so much that I did my own independent research about David Allan Pundt. I wanted to tell him what a creepy puke I think he is. I found his campaign e-mail address right away, but I wanted this to be a bi...

So I woke up this afternoon (having worked last night) at 4:21 p.m. Why is this significant? Well, at that precise time 39 years ago, I was born. On Wednesday, October 8 th , 1969. I share my birthday with a few famous folks, like Chevy Chase, Sigourney Weaver and Jesse Jackson (lucky me!). It was also on my birthday that the great Chicago fire started in 1871 (as in "Mrs. O'Leary's cow" great Chicago fire). Four square miles of the city were destroyed, including the building that housed the original copy of the Emancipation Proclamation (bet you didn't know that!). I'm not sure what the Emancipation Proclamation was doing in Chicago, but a fact is a fact. It was also on this date in 1918 that Sergeant York killed 25 German soldiers and captured 132 more almost single- handedly during World War I, making him an American hero for the ages. So a few interesting things happened on October 8 th , besides the birth of a certain child who came screaming int...

How do you like that? I posted something I thought someone would comment on, and all I hear is crickets chirping. Oh well. Maybe you read my thoughts and said to yourself, "Ya know, he's right." Or perhaps you didn't want to tangle with my intellect. Or perhaps you think I'm a dumb ass and don't want to hurt my feelings by telling me so. Or maybe nobody reads this and I'm talking to myself, just like I do at home? Could be. Once again, my site has undergone a face lift. I was having trouble with the scroll bar with the book design (which I really liked) and it was driving me crazy. This design doesn't look as nice, but at least it works right. I will take functionality over good looks any day. (Funny, that's what the wife said to me this morning). Anyhoo... Scott T. came out today and hooked up our garbage disposal, so our kitchen renovation is complete. I've never had a garbage disposal before. When I was growing up, our disposal wa...

As you can see, I've taken a renewed interest in the presidential race, mainly because it is now just a month away. The end is in sight and this whole drama will come to an end soon. The mud is starting to sling and I am still on the fence between the two candidates. I can say, though, that my decision will come down to three factors. I will vote for the campaign which: Launches the least amount of personal attacks on their opponent. This is a waste of time and energy, and accomplishes nothing . Personal integrity is a must. Spends the least amount of time telling me why their opponent is wrong on an issue. It's easy to point a finger at someone else. Is able to provide specific models, plans and proposals on how they will correct what's wrong with this country. Tell me what you are going to do. Having said that, let me address something else that's got sand in my craw. Before I get started, you should know that I am not Pro-Obama or Pro-McCain at this poin...

ORLANDO, FL —Republican vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin sought to silence those who have criticized her lack of foreign affairs experience Tuesday by announcing plans for a weeklong, 10-nation tour of Walt Disney World's Epcot. According to Palin, the trip—her first past Frontierland—will include speaking engagements at Norway's famous Viking ride, sausages at Germany's Kaufhaus, and, time permitting, a fact-finding mission to Future World. "This ambitious trip should finally demonstrate that I am ready to assume the vice presidency, whether by standing in long lines at Morocco's Tangierine Café or by sitting down face-to-face with Mexico's Three Caballeros," Palin announced during a campaign stop outside a Chinese restaurant in Tulsa, OK. "All of our neighbors deserve good diplomacy, from the Universe of Energy down to the French pavilion." Palin also promised a visit to the American Adventure exhibit before returning home, adding that she...

This is an actual recorded telephone conversation. I think this telemarketer called the wrong number at the wrong time. This is beyond hilarious. And the best part of all... it is real! (Warning: does contain some adult language) A New Level of Crazy - Watch more free videos

Plenty happening around here this week. Our kitchen has undergone a total facelift over the past 48 hours. On the 30th, I dismantled the old countertops, which really wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. It took me a couple hours (which included entertaining a two-year old who was insisting on wearing her swim suit and running around the living room with her hippopotamus floaty device), but I managed to get everything out with a minimum of four-letter words. On the morning of Oct. 1st, Roberts Custom Wood Design showed up promptly at 8 o'clock and had the new countertops installed by 2:30 p.m. What a difference! I didn't think I'd be this excited about it, but boy does it ever look great! Today a little troll-looking man came out to install our new sink and garbage disposal. He may have looked strange, but he did good work and things are working just fine. Hopefully by the end of the week Scott can come out to give the disposal juice and we can declare this u...