Horse Manure Park

I don't know which is harder to believe... that it has been four months since my last confession or that in 2009, I made 156 of these blog entries. There was a time when I couldn't wait to sit down and write about something. Now it is just so much easier to post a thought on Facebook or Twitter and be done with it rather than sit down and actually write an organized, well thought-out piece. Unfortunately, social media sites have become frothing-at-the-mouth political hotbeds. One must not even make a joke about something for fear offending or angering a friend or relative (or complete stranger). I have found it is much safer to keep my thoughts to myself (it is not as though I do not have an opinion!). Social media sites have become little more than arenas for folks to throw verbal barbs at one another, rather than engaging in intelligent discourse or debate. Everyone must prove their "rightness." No one is willing to listen to the other side. The older I get, the...

We are all conditioned to think a certain way, act a certain way, observe the world in a certain way.  It starts at an early age, when we are told to color inside the lines; scribbling over the picture is unacceptable.  Eventually we become "programmed," not unlike lab rats. Most people live inside that box of robotic, predictable thought their entire lives.  Look around you.  You see it everywhere. But children have fresh eyes.  Their point of view comes from a completely different perspective; their thoughts have not yet been clouded or limited by stupid, unwritten rules.  One of the joys of parenting is when your child says something completely outside the box of conventional thinking. And The Boy had one of those moments this week. Almost all of you know that I am a football nut.  My dad loved football and he passed that love down to me. Now, I'm passing it along to The Boy. So last week I started teaching him all of the NFL teams based...

Time to take a short break from writing about football to update my "other" blog... which would be this one. I've been writing like Wordsworth lately, busy trying to establish myself on Twitter and the World Wide Web (do they even call it that anymore?) as a fantasy football personality.   It's a perfect marriage to me.  I love writing and I love fantasy football.  I've played fantasy football since 1991, which makes me an old timer compared to a lot of writers out there.  So I figured, "why not?"  These self-proclaimed "experts" and "gurus" don't know anything more about the hobby than me. So I paid for a web domain, www.thelonepylon.com  , and I am cross-posting everything to Twitter using the (in)famous hashtags ### to generate more traffic. My official logo.  I designed it myself and it turned out far better than I was expecting. I have also applied to cross-post to  www.pro-football-reference.com , which ...

If there is one thing I do not like, it is arrogance.  I cannot stand cocky, conceited jerks.  A little humility goes a long way in the book of That Damn Sam. And with that thought, I suddenly really, really hope the Seahawks do not win the Super Bowl, just so this moron regrets this tattoo for the rest of his life.  [This is via KOMO News in Seattle.  It is not fake or Photoshopped.] This is what it looks like when an arrogant jackass gets a tattoo.

So begins a new work week.  I'll put in my 56 hours this week, then enjoy next week.  My brothers and sisters-in-law are coming for our annual winter weekend get together in two weeks.  We always have a blast when we are together.  We haven't seen each other in a long time, so we've got plenty of catching up to do. We've had a slow, but steady snowfall since late Saturday/early Sunday.  The forecast was calling for 5 to 8 inches of snow by Monday, but it looks more like we have between 2 and 3 inches.  I'm just "eyeballing" it, but we certainly didn't get half a foot. I watched the Super Bowl yesterday.  I was disappointed in the outcome.  Yes, I was cheering for the Colts.  I felt the Vikings had a better team than the Saints and it makes me vomit bile to think it could have been the Vikings in the Super Bowl defeating the Colts. Now, if my dad was alive, he would say that the Saints winning the Super Bowl made the Vikings look good....

The International Committee for Symbols and Abbreviations held an emergency conference this week and unanimously ratified an amendment to change the international sign for choking from this: To this: Thank you and have a nice day.

It's Monday again.  The Vikings disappointed as usual yesterday.  I talk about all that stuff here , so I won't go into it.  But it sure is a horrible let down yet again. But indeed, life goes on.  Reality check:  my children are healthy, my dog is finally healthy, I am feeling close to 100% again too, after not feeling well for five weeks (that cough I had is finally going away), and my wife used to still loves me, despite my colorful language yesterday.  She says I take this whole football thing far too seriously. She's right.  Just don't tell her I said that.  Yes, life is good.  (It just would have been better if the Vikings had gone to the Super Bowl.  Piss. )   It is a wintry day here.  The snow is falling, the wind is blowing; it's rather fitting for my mood today.  It looks remarkably like January outside.  What a coincidence - it is January. Let's see, we have a week left of January, then four...

For today's post, click here to go to my other blog...

Just a quick update:  Grace's surgery went well.  She resembles a pirate right now.  Her left eye is stitched closed.  As Ava says, "She's got a string in her eye."  Naturally, the first thing she (Ava) tried to do was pull at the stitches, so we had to have a long talk with her about not touching Grace's eye. If the dog doesn't rub the stitches out, the kid will pull them out.  ARRRGH! I am getting new tires put on the Honda as I write this.  That will set us back some moolah, but I learned my lesson from Brian... get your tires replaced sooner rather than later or you'll have bigger problems, especially winter driving in Minnesota. I'm looking forward to a nice weekend off.  It is Wildcard Weekend, so you better believe I will be enjoying a few football games this weekend, much to my wife's chagrin.  Oh well, it could be worse. I'm not sure how, but I'm sure it could be worse.

Due to the start of football season, life as we know it has ceased to exist... (at least at my house)!  Skol Vikings! ~~ ~ ~

[Editor's note: don't look now, it's another football posting. 'Tis the season!] Another day of free agency and another huge signing by the Vikings: wide receiver Bernard Berrian. After checking a few message boards, I noticed that quite a few Vikings fans are less than ecstatic over this signing. I am just blown away by their reaction. In my opinion, signing Berrian is a double whammy: we instantly upgrade our wide receiver tandem significantly, and we severely weaken a divisional rival’s offense (the Bears have lost both Muhammad and Berrian -- I guess when you've got Nathan Vasher and Devin Hester on your roster you don't need anything else?). I’ve concluded that these Vikings “fans” bitching about Berrian are the same people who threw a fit when the Vikings traded for Steve Hutchinson ( why would you need an All-Pro guard? All they do is block! What are the Vikings thinking?! ). They are also the same people who were shaking their heads when the Vikings d...

I had a comment from my cousin Connie that I'd like to answer first: Yes, of course it is okay that you copy my stuff and send it to your mom (thank you for asking!). Sometimes it is easier to do that than to persuade someone to visit a web site. [Editor's note: once again, the following discussion is about football, which some readers will find as entertaining as the mating habits of the Lebanese tree frog] Troy Williamson is not the brightest candle in the Menorah. During week 17 of this past NFL season, he once again dropped a perfect pass which would have been six points. After the game, Williamson told reporters that he dropped the pass because he was “too wide open.” This is the equivalent to a hunter missing a deer because the deer was “too close.” Talk about scraping the bottom of the excuses barrel. As it turns out, this comment was the last nail in his Vikings coffin. Williamson caught 79 passes for 1067 yards. In three seasons. Combined. That’s beyond awful, especia...

[Editor's note: The following is a football discussion, which some readers may find as effective as Ambien or Lunesta] Starting tonight is one more enjoyable times in the NFL offseason: free agency. It is a fun time to be a Monday morning quarterback and critique each team's moves. But one move has already stupified me. Tonight the Oakland Raiders re-signed someone named Tommy Kelly to the largest contract ever tendered to a defensive tackle: seven years, $50.5 million dollars, including over $18 million in guaranteed money. We're not talking spare change, folks. A few things you should know: I follow the NFL closely. I keep up-to-date on the latest NFL news 365 days a year. I guess you could call it my hobby. As a result, I am familiar with nearly every player in the NFL on both offense and defense. I am not saying this impress you, rather to prove I really don't have a life. I must admit that I've never heard of Tommy Kelly. After doing a bit of research, I found ...

‘Tis the season when it drives me crazy to watch ESPN and hear about which team deserves to be in the national championship and which one doesn’t, and how it all depends on how the computer looks at it. This year is even crazier than most because of all of the upsets in NCAA football. In fact, last night both the #1 and #2 teams were upset and now everything is up in the air. This is the perfect opportunity for Division 1-A football to stop being the laughing stock of NCAA sports, design at the very least an eight team playoff system, and let the teams decide the national championship on the field. Anything less is a joke, really. Div. 1-A football is the only collegiate sport (actually, the only sport, period) that does not have a playoff system to determine a true champion. Yesterday, two talking heads were debating whether the University of Hawaii, who has a perfect record, should be eligible for a major bowl game. Imagine that, having a perfect record, but still not being ranked hi...

If you're not interested in football, you won't be interested in my post tonight. I love football and love talking about football, so my blog would not be complete without a healthy dose of my football chatter. How about the Vikings? I had the day off, so I was able to watch the whole game and it was well worth watching. Beth made Buffalo chicken dip for the game (a recipe from my sister-in-law Mel, who is the world’s greatest cook) and I had the pleasure of sitting in front of my big screen t.v., munching on chips and dip and watching Vikings RB Adrian Peterson set the NFL single game rushing record today… against the Chargers defense of all teams. Korey went to the game today, so it was cool he got to see history being made. Yeah, Peterson’s pretty good. I’m not ready to declare him the best running back in the league yet, but I definitely smell a changing of the guard in the air. However, in front of every great running back there is a great offensive line (unless your name...