Horse Manure Park

It is the eve of Christmas Eve. We are preparing for the big day here, running around the house, frolicking and laughing, telling tales of Christmas, baking cookies and writing letters to that Jolly Old Elf.  In the evening, we sip steaming mugs of hot chocolate and sing Christmas carols around the tree. Yeah, right. Sorry, but our life isn't this Facebook idyllic.  It's not even frickin' close. In the 1600's, people used to paint a black cross the doors of dwellings occupied by those infected with the Black Plague.  For the past couple of weeks, that black cross has been on our door. We just can't get healthy around here. The Boy and The Girl have each taken turns with respiratory infections, trips to the doctor, negative tests, stomach flu (and all the involuntary spillages that go with it).  The Boy contracted Fifth disease.  The Speaker of the House has had a persistent cough since before Thanksgiving.  I've had a persistent so...

I spent the day at home with the Boy today.  He was sick and I wasn't all that well myself.  I got up with him at 2:00 AM; he was sitting in his bed crying for no apparent reason (which is highly unusual for him).  I knew there was a problem, but I didn't know what it was. Yet. It took him about an hour to "prime the pump" (so to speak) and he finally upchucked. I'll give him credit, he made it to the bathroom.  But he puked in the sink (he takes after his mother, but that's a whole other story).  No worries, however.  Nothing a little Liquid Plum'r couldn't handle. At 3:00 AM.   Blech. He seemed fine afterward, so back to bed we went and at 7:00 AM he seemed as spry as usual.  We ate breakfast, we loaded up the truck to go to school and... ...all of his breakfast came up in the back of the truck. Oh, the frickin' joys of parenthood.  A great start to the week.   Obviously, it had to be Monday. ~ ...

If you have a child with a relentless cough, rub Vicks VapoRub on the soles of their feet, then cover them with a pair of socks. It really works .   I don't know why it works, and perhaps the better question is why anyone even think to try it?  But it works. Anyway, more about that later. It would appear it is time for what seems to be my monthly installment here at "The Park."  Don't get me wrong, I write frequently, but that's all done over at my other site, The Lone Pylon . And if you aren't interested in football, that ain't for you. I should at least write something  weekly , like an Andy Rooney piece.  Except I'm not Andy Rooney.   Heck, I'm not even Mickey Rooney.   I'm much taller.  And I'm not dead yet. ~ Since last time I joined you, school has started and the Boy and the Girl have entered yet another new chapter in their lives.   The Girl is now in third grade and the Boy has sta...

Time to take a short break from writing about football to update my "other" blog... which would be this one. I've been writing like Wordsworth lately, busy trying to establish myself on Twitter and the World Wide Web (do they even call it that anymore?) as a fantasy football personality.   It's a perfect marriage to me.  I love writing and I love fantasy football.  I've played fantasy football since 1991, which makes me an old timer compared to a lot of writers out there.  So I figured, "why not?"  These self-proclaimed "experts" and "gurus" don't know anything more about the hobby than me. So I paid for a web domain, www.thelonepylon.com  , and I am cross-posting everything to Twitter using the (in)famous hashtags ### to generate more traffic. My official logo.  I designed it myself and it turned out far better than I was expecting. I have also applied to cross-post to  www.pro-football-reference.com , which ...

What, pray tell, is the deal with vomit lately? A mere five days after the Boy erupted at the Christmas program, the Girl decided to give it a go.    And if there was some kind of warped sibling rivalry over whose puke packs the most punch, the Girl wins, hands down.  (Hey, if I've taught that girl  anything , it is to never do something half-assed.) It all started with about three minutes left of Monday Night Football.  I had just turned the game off; it was a blow out.  Time for bed. When suddenly a blood-curdling scream came from the Girl's bedroom. This better be good , I thought to myself.  Let me guess: a spider?  Or did she hear the house creaking and cracking from the stupid -12º F temperatures we had last night? No.  Her screaming was justified. When I flipped on her bedroom light, there she was sitting upright in bed and howling, with a colorful array of yuck in a massive puddle in front of her.  A frickin'  ...

It was stupid cold this morning.   When I took the Girl to school, I did the ol' nares test and it came back positive.*  That's never a good sign. The temperature this morning on my trusty Springfield PreciseTemp was something like -15* F, although it hardly matters.  Once it is below zero, anything more is just a number to make it even more stupid than it already is. ~ So the Girl had her second grade Christmas program last evening, called "Hurray for Christmas!"  A cute 30 minute production.  She is very animated when she performs and she seems to love the stage.  Let's just say she's very enthusiastic when it comes to music. I cannot imagine where she gets that from. All dolled up and somewhere to go.  Think she's excited?  Second grade Christmas program, 12-5-13. With my little troupe there is always a story.   And last night was no exception. We (the Wife, the Boy and myself) settled into our seats in the gymnasium for...

So my first thought was, "Dude, really?" In this case, the noun "dude" was not addressed to anyone in particular.  Just... dude . More snow on the way in this neck o' the woods.  In fact, it has already started to the south and it is slowly working its way back to us, babe. I've heard 1-2 inches... and maybe up to 6 inches or more.  Which is to say, no one knows for sure, but it probably will  snow. Probably. So what's new? The Boy has been sputtering lately and running fevers.  Broke out in a rash.  "It's nothing," says I.  "Probably viral." "I think he's got strep," says his mom. "It's nothing," says I again. His mom took him to the clinic last evening. Guess what? Yep, it's strep. My new t-shirt. Now I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.  There are three more of us in the house in the streptococcus crosshairs.  Too bad the doctor couldn't have prescribed ant...

Time for what I'll have to call my weekly update, or perhaps bi-monthly?  A few things have happened since last time I typed away... The most important thing is my oldest turned six years old on Feb. 9th.  We had a quiet party on the night of her birthday (Mom and Dad were working the entire weekend).  Celebrating at home, Feb 9th.  Little brother had already started trashing the cake. This past Saturday we had a bigger party for her at the Three Bears Waterpark at the Holiday Inn here in town.  Even cousins and Nora and Jacob came all the way from Bismarck, ND, to be at the party! Little brother checking out the cake.  Again. Ava's cupcake cake A few of the kids at the party Opening gifts... Concentrating on her Lego veterinarian clinic, one of her birthday gifts.  This little work of art took over two hours for Dad (with some help from the birthday girl) to piece together!  She's determined to be a vet when she grows u...

A quick update here, for those who still stop in to check my blog.  As you can see, Farm Fest 9 has been set.  It was a challenge to find a weekend that worked for the majority.  Nothing in June, nothing in July.  The first weekend in August was about our only choice.  Everyone is so busy these days, every year seems to be more and more of a challenge. Even this first weekend of August has its drawbacks.  The biggest is that it's WE Fest weekend; but what can ya do?  If anything, Farm Fest is a lot more affordable.  And the company is better, right? Well, we are all starting to get healthy again around here.  It has taken forever, but the coughing, sniffles, runny noses and hacking are all starting to subside.  It all started on Thanksgiving.  I'd say we've paid our dues. Well, this is just a quick update.  I will update again next week.  Until then, stay healthy!

It's my first entry of 2012.  So much for resolving to update my blog more often in the new year.  Nine days later, I'm finally getting around to it.  It was an exciting football weekend here in the Branstner household.  Instead of repeating myself, I'll just redirect you here to Snot Bubble Football , my "other" blog, and to read about the excitement of the Bison winning their first FCS national title.  Meanwhile, our house has been full of germs and sickness, which has been an ongoing theme since Thanksgiving.  It's really getting old, I can assure you. Both kids had pink eye early last week.  Neil got it first, then Ava (and it didn't come from school - Ava was still on Christmas break, so we don't know where in the world this came from).  I took both kids to the MD on the 4th and the eye drops they were prescribed quickly cleared up the infection. And right on cue, Neil came down with a doozy of a cold.  Again .  He went into...

Here I go again, not updating in over a week.  I have my excuse ready this time - I came down with strep throat a week ago Thursday.  I haven't had it for 11 years.  I'm convinced God strikes me down with strep about once every decade just so I'm thankful for being otherwise very healthy.  Ugh.  Finally went to the doctor on Sunday when I became convinced my immune system was sending desperation signals for reinforements... not to mention the back of my throat resembled a science experiment gone terribly wrong.  A rapid strep test came back positive (surprise!).  He put me on Zithromax.  Within 36 hours I was already perking up.  Amazing what antibiotics can do, huh? Unfortunately I ended up missing four days of work.  I hate calling in sick to work, but when you're running 102 temperatures and all you wanna do is curl up in a ball and die, you're not much good to your place of employment.  Not to mention you are very contagio...

Gull Lake Campground, Part 2 or The Weekend When Everything Went Wrong Okay, note to self: three consecutive weekends camping is too much for my children, at least for the two year old.  It did not go well this past weekend. Part of the problem was that both kids, especially Neil, had colds this past week (if you remember my last entry, I complained I wasn't feeling well - I managed to spread the love to the rest of the family).  The good news is we are all getting back to good health now, but this weekend did not go well. It was one of those "looked great on paper" weekends.  The Kampen and Stokes families were both going to be at the campground and we hadn't seen either in a long, long time.  It promised to be a weekend of fun, friends and a lot of catching up. It started out badly when I mowed the farm on Friday and it took far longer than usual (because I let the grass it get longer than I should have - my fault).  By the time I got home on Friday i...

It is back to reality after spending the weekend in the Bismarck/Mandan neck of the woods.  We had a good time with Jon and Sara and the kids.  Got a babysitter and went out Saturday night and had a really good time.  Then a long trip home on Monday and back to work the same night.  Oh, the cold chill of reality.  Yuck. Something you don't hear anything about on national media coverage is the flooding that is happening in Bismarck.  The Missouri River is wreaking havoc and many homes and businesses are in imminent danger of being destroyed.  They are sandbagging like crazy, but who knows if it will be enough.  A nasty storm blew through last night and I was sure I'd have a couple trees down when I got home this morning, but we lucked out this time.  Today it is chilly, wet and windy.  Summer is free to show its face any day now.  I'd like to get the camper open next week if the weather isn't going to be crappy.  It's time...

Well what do you know, I'm back!  It has been an interesting couple of weeks here.  We've been inundated with sickness... Ava was sick for nearly two weeks and ended up losing nearly 10 pounds (weight she couldn't afford to lose).  Beth was sick for a week.  Neil was sick for a couple of days.  Somehow, I avoided it.  Of course, I was sick last month, so I did my time. My old laptop was also sick.  Very sick.  Another virus knocked it for a loop and a half.  I ended up making the decision to go a different direction.  Goodbye Bill Gates, hello Steve Jobs.  From one billionaire to another, right? Yes, I got a MacBook.  I am still trying to get the hang of it - it is a different operating system, but I am very slowly figuring it out - sort of.  My old college buddy Dan  has been helping get familiar with the ins and outs of this new machine.  It really is a lot different than what I'm used to, but change is not...

Well, it has certainly been an interesting weekend.  Beth's birthday was Sunday.  We had a full weekend planned.  We had planned to go to Elk River on Saturday afternoon to see Elizabeth Budahn in a play, "Sleeping Beauty," something Ava was very excited to see.  On Saturday evening I had arranged for Korey and Shelli to come over after the kids went to bed and surprise Beth with a birthday drink.  Sunday was going to be our day together, celebrating "Mommy's" birthday. Ava changed all those plans at 2:30 AM on Saturday morning.  She threw up a nice pile of rice and chicken in her bed and started puking every 45 minutes for the next 18 hours - and that is without exaggeration, trust me. Grace kept her vigil next to Ava all day Saturday... She really had no spunk at all Sunday and vomited about every 2 to 3 hours.  I think the worst has passed now.  She took a little food this morning (Monday) - her first since Friday night - and she's keepi...

Time to sit down and jot a note or two.  It has been a long week.  I've had a sore throat all week and a nasty cough.  I've been hacking up the most impressive thick, green, tasty salamanders ever to come out of a set of lungs.  (Yeah, I know - too much information).  I thought about even taking a picture of one of my loogies and posting it here, they were that impressive.  But that was too gross.  Even I have a certain amount of decency. So on Thursday night I felt crappy, but went to work.  It got to a point where I couldn't even take a breath without coughing.  On Friday morning I decided to go to Urgent Care to have myself checked out because I wasn't getting better - I was actually getting worse.  For me to actually seek out medical care means my ass is truly sick .  I certainly don't like to think of myself as a hypochondriac.  Even Beth knew something must have been up for me to actually make a doctor's appointment. ...

Another day, another blog entry.  How about that? The dryer got fixed today.  The repairman said the blower belt was installed wrong at the factory - it was put on backwards or something - and slipped off, which in turn caused the thermostat to burn out.  Installed wrong at the factory!  I guess it is hard to find good help anywhere these days. Of course, it was totally covered by warranty, but if it wasn't the total damage would have been $177.  Dodged a bullet there. In other news, when I got home this morning, I found poor Beth in a bad way.  She has been battling a cold/upper respiratory infection for the last 10 days and she was miserable when I got home.  She hadn't slept and her head/jaw/eyes were killing her.  No doubt about it: this was sinusitis.  So I got her into Urgent Care at 9:10 AM and she finally got some antibiotics.  I hope she feels better soon.  I don't like to see her sick. Well, it is almost time for w...

It has been brought to my attention that I haven't updated my blog in over a week.  To be honest, I didn't think anyone was paying attention... Not much has been happening over the past week.  I did a couple of fantasy football drafts, which I know doesn't interest many people, but if it does you can read all about my passion for football at www.snotbubblefootball.blogspot.com .  We've also spent the better part of this week nursing a sick little boy.  Neil started spiking high fevers on Monday.  They would respond to ibuprofen, but as soon as it wore off the fever came right back.  He also had a very poor appetite for several days.  Then he broke out into a rash over his whole body.  Beth took him to the doctor on Thursday morning and he was surprisingly diagnosed with strep throat.  They never performed a test on him, so I it is just an educated guess on the doctor's part, but he was put on antibiotics and he definitely is responding we...

A long, crappy week of work is in the books.  Oh, I wish I could vent right now about some of the b.s. I see on the job.  Much of it has to do with creeps -- felons -- living on disability and leeching off the system.  My (and your) tax money hard at work, folks. Disability is a fine concept, but it is abused like nothing else I've ever seen, and I've certainly not seen the worst, most pathetic cases.  But because of HIPAA and other privacy laws, I cannot speak freely about the fervid bullshit I encounter.  But it is out there and you should know the system is incredibly flawed.  Ugh. A busy week this week -- Tomorrow I have a six hour ACLS (advanced cardiac life support) refresher course.  Then a staff meeting on Friday morning.  Grace sees the vet on Thursday morning.  She gets the stitches out of her left eye and the doc will make the determination if surgery is needed on the right eye.  I hope he decides it is healing okay on it...

We're back from our Christmas adventure.  The trip down to Waseca took some time and was a little hairy in places, especially between the Cities and Owatonna where the roads were covered in snow in places and it was difficult to tell what was where, but people were driving (surprisingly) slow and using (surprising) caution, so we got there slowly but safely. We had a fun time with the family and set off back home around 11:30 AM today.  It was a much less stressful drive home, the roads were in perfect condition and we arrived to a driveway full of about a foot of snow.  Of course, I promptly got the car stuck halfway into the driveway.  It was nothing a little shoveling couldn't take care of, but I'm blaming it on the tires.  Beth said I shouldn't have stopped.  I say I stopped because my shitty tires started spinning.  She got mad, got out of the car and said, "I'm walking home."  Luckily she only had to walk 15 feet. So after I got the ca...