Horse Manure Park

Maybe this time it's for real. Yesterday, for the first time since October, I opened the windows and let fresh air come rushing into the house. It was 70 degrees. Then a unicorn ran across my lawn, chased by two mermaids atop a sparkling dragon. It was awesome. If Old Man Winter is not dead, he is definitely on life support.  The bastard.

The days when we could walk outside and feel completely safe and secure are long over. People die going to school now. They die going to the movies. They die going shopping. They die going to work. They die enjoying themselves on a beautiful spring morning. We live in a country where expecting the worst and steeling ourselves for what unthinkable act of violence will happen next is simply routine. We can only pray that we - or someone we love - is not in the wrong place at the wrong time. I am not being pessimistic.  I am not being negative. This is our reality in today's America. And yes, it is really fucked up.

Have you ever wondered how some things ever get past the "idea" stage? Especially when it comes from a big corporation like Target. We hate fat women. I read an article today that quite literally made me laugh out loud. Target recently removed a plus-sized dress from their clothing line because it came in the color "Manatee Gray." Since this is the United States of America, naturally somebody was offended by that particular description. I am guessing Target officials first rejected "Fat Albert Brown," "Brontosaurus Beige" and "Sperm Whale Blue" before settling on the not-quite-as-behemoth manatee. (Hey, it could have been worse.) A less offensive fat-ass... and cute as a bug's ear. Now don't get me wrong; I do not have a problem with plus-sized women.  I'd rather have too much to hold than not enough. After all, fat-bottomed girls make the rockin' world go 'round. And I'd much rath

So my first thought was, "Dude, really?" In this case, the noun "dude" was not addressed to anyone in particular.  Just... dude . More snow on the way in this neck o' the woods.  In fact, it has already started to the south and it is slowly working its way back to us, babe. I've heard 1-2 inches... and maybe up to 6 inches or more.  Which is to say, no one knows for sure, but it probably will  snow. Probably. So what's new? The Boy has been sputtering lately and running fevers.  Broke out in a rash.  "It's nothing," says I.  "Probably viral." "I think he's got strep," says his mom. "It's nothing," says I again. His mom took him to the clinic last evening. Guess what? Yep, it's strep. My new t-shirt. Now I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.  There are three more of us in the house in the streptococcus crosshairs.  Too bad the doctor couldn't have prescribed ant