Horse Manure Park

WD -40 is the miracle worker. It should be in every American household. Come to think of it, I suppose it is in every American household. But there's a reason for it... the stuff works. You probably have guessed my WD -40 experiment worked with the power washer. I was right, it was corroded shut and the WD -40 did the trick. I hooked up the washer on Saturday morning and it wheezed, farted and gurgled... and suddenly POOF! An explosion of water and mist flew out of the tip of the nozzle and it was as good as new. So I power washed the hell out of the deck yesterday and started staining later in the afternoon. I finally quit around supper time and we went out to Gull Lake Campground, had supper and visited with the Stokes family, who were camping for the weekend. This morning I started staining again, despite rain in the forecast. I worked until 3:00 PM when it started looking dark. I timed it just right. Two hours later it started raining. So the deck isn't finishe

Today was a kind of frustrating day. All week long I had planned on power washing my deck today and staining it tomorrow. I have very few days off where I can actually devote time to getting stuff like this accomplished, so I was looking forward to tackling this project and spending some time outside. My father-in-law was kind enough to let me borrow his power washer. I freely admit I am not the most mechanically inclined fellow, but I can usually figure stuff out. This power washer is about as easy as can be: water in (check), water out (check), water supply on (check), washer plugged in (check), turn washer on (check) pull trigger and wash away ... Well, not so fast. For the life of me I could not get water to come out of that thing. I even went so far as to bother my father-in-law at his work to see if I was being my usual idiot self and overlooking something obvious, but everything seemed to be in place. After going through everything piece by piece, I finally narrowed down

I'm looking out the window. Gray, overcast skies. The trusty kitchen thermometer says 49 degrees. Looks like it could rain at any moment. Gee, must be my day off. Yep, it is.

Still alive, pushing through another working weekend. Feeling better... sore throat is gone. Beautiful weather over the weekend and couldn't enjoy it at all. I have tomorrow off and it's supposed to rain. Great. Want to stain the deck next weekend. Forecast looks promising. Due date is getting closer. Nervous about the delivery. I worry too much. I need a cold beer. I miss my friends. That's me in a nutshell.

Okay, it's official... the air conditioner made its debut today. The house contains a woman who's seven months pregnant and a fat boy who is adverse to warm weather. Freon is a beautiful thing. Yesterday was a strange weather day. It did not get above 59 degrees here, but Granite Falls actually hit 100 degrees. That's over a 40 degree difference separated by about 160 miles. Somehow we avoided a knock-your-socks-off kind of storm. I think we got lucky. Ava had the sniffles a few days ago and she passed along a sore throat to Beth and I. It seems just ridiculous to have a sore throat when it's 86 degrees outside. I hope this crud doesn't last long. I don't have time for it. It's probably the swine flu. Shit. Ava has a new favorite movie, Wall-E . It's actually a very cute movie... at least the first couple of times it was cute. I am sure by the 265th showing I'll be ready to kill everyone at Pixar Entertainment. The gutter guy hasn't

It's Monday. The start of another week of work. It is beautiful outside, I think the kiddo and I will have to get some sunshine today. The shingles are finished. Some time this week the new gutters are supposed to be installed. The contractor, of course, will show up whenever he damn well feels like it. As these improvement projects near completion, our dryer decided to go belly-up yesterday. That's just fantastic , isn't it? We have a repairman coming out today to look at it. It's a good thing I've got a money tree planted in the backyard or I'd be a little concerned about running low on cash flow. I finally got the lawn mowed yesterday. Next on my to-do list is power washing and re-staining the deck, which will happen next week when I'm off again. Then I need to finish our landscaping project we started last year. Our backyard looks embarrassing at the moment. The longer I put off that project the easier it is to forget about it. It's go

A quick update on things in my neck of the woods. For the last few days I've been brainstorming the new Farm Fest t-shirt design. I came up with an idea and sent it to Brandy (who does all of the hard work with the shirts -- I have the fun part!). But then after discussing it with my t-shirt design committee (made up of my wife... and that's pretty much it) and tossing around some different ideas, I came up with something even better than the original idea. So, I've been driving Brandy nuts (I'm sure) sending her new and improved ideas. But I think the final design is going to be enjoyed by all! I've also been creating a Farm Fest blog (it's more of a website than a blog, really) which is how the invitation will be "sent" this year. With stamps at 44 cents a pop, sending out fifty invitations is no longer a feasible! The Postal Service is truly digging their own grave, aren't they? Anyway, the Farm Fest "blog" will be available soon

My apologies to all Pekingese owners everywhere. My neighbor's devil dog from the depths of Hell is not a Pekingese. The creepy little bastard is a Pomeranian, which sounds a lot like "Iranian." Coincidence? I don't think so. Instruments of the Devil

I'm sitting out on my deck enjoying a cup of coffee -- wishing it was a Michelob Light. My deck needs to be re-stained. It looks awful. Okay, add it to the list. Check. The sun is shining, the sky is blue and it almost seems like summer. Ava is running around the yard, pretending to be a dog. She's "barking" at that yapping piece of crap Pekingese that lives next door. I'd love to drop-kick that damn dog through the goal posts of life. Some day I will. I hate that frickin' dog. Hi. I look like an asshole and I act like one too. This weekend can't end soon enough. I need a couple days off. No, more than that. How about a month? No... how about if I just quit my job and live off the government? My drunken, Pekingese-loving neighbor does. I can fake a back injury as well as him. Disability seems like nice work if you can get it. Man, am I in a foul mood. I'm sure tomorrow will be a better day.

Let the shingling begin. My roof is being torn off as I write this. These guys are moving fast. I stopped by city hall yesterday morning and was raped for $70 for my little piece of paper that said it was okay to put new shingles on my house. Ridiculous. To make matters worse, the building inspector was a pompous bastard. But I guess when you get to call the shots and no one can challenge your authority, you can be King Shit of Turd Mountain. Pardon my French. So another working weekend is upon us. We get a nice little double whammy this time around -- not only is there a full moon on Saturday, but it's also fishing opener at 12:01 AM Saturday morning. Oh, such lucky health care workers we are. The hard core fishermen are fine, because they are here for all the right reasons. It's all the yahoos who file up in their Escalades and Land Rovers from the bowels of the suburbs and pretend to be outdoorsmen for the weekend. They drink too much and forget the laws of gravity

It's Sunday, Beth is taking a nap so this is a good time to update things. Ava has been battling some kind of upper respiratory bug for the last six days. She seems pretty normal during the day. It's much worse at night (which is to be read: no sleep for anyone). We've tried several different things, but I've not seen much (if any) improvement over the last week. I hate dragging her to the doctor every time she feels a little sick, but after a week you would think she would be getting over it. I definitely don't want this to progress to something worse. We learned that our house will be getting new shingles and new gutters next weekend. I have to buy a "shingling permit" tomorrow. I didn't know there was such a thing, but leave it to the city of Baxter to rape people of every penny possible. A shingling permit? I know they make this stuff up. I'm surprised they don't require a farting permit. Maybe that's coming in 2010? Well, I

Happy Birthday to my beautiful wife! Ava and I just finished your birthday cake -- I hope you enjoy it as much as she did!