Walmart Story #305
I knew it's going to be an adventurous day when I saw this...
Okay, so I'm not exactly what you'd call politically correct, although I've usually got a pretty good filter. The problem, as I see it, is we live in an ultra-sensitive, entitled society which has made us into a country overflowing with lazy, thin-skinned crybabies.
That's strictly my opinion and it's probably an unpopular one, but the truth hurts.
I'm saying all of this because today I had to go to Walmart. And it's never pretty when I go to Walmart.
However, today I tried to adopt the perspective of my niece, Stacy, who said recently (on Facebook) that she loved Walmart because it "displays an array of unique beautiful individuals of God's creation."
Stacy is a good, kind soul. She's also an ordained minister and I'm very proud of her and her accomplishments.
But my faith in the humanity of Walmart was tested immediately upon entering the store.
You see, I spent the morning running errands and Walmart was last on my list places to go and things to do. After a several hours of drinking coffee, the first order of business at Walmart was to find the little boys room.
Now, employing the bathroom facilities at Walmart is only a slightly better alternative to pissing my pants. I was full of reluctance, but my bladder was fuller, so I entered with trepidation.
I found the cleanest urinal available (the one not covered in vomit or Copenhagen), and did what I came to do. Occupying the urinal beside me was a bearded man who was making odd grunting sounds.
"Muh!" he humphed.
"Muh-muh!"
For all I knew, Chewbacca next to me could have had a prostate the size of Connecticut, so I could cut the dude some slack. Soon, he put the bat back in the cave (so to speak) and headed to the sink.
I was happy to know that Grizzly Adams was going to wash his hands. Not to be judgmental (although I am), but he didn't look like the type to make personal hygiene a top priority in life.
He stood at the sink for a while, but I noticed no water was running. I could tell something had his undivided attention, but I didn't want to be a weirdo and look.
It didn't take me long and I was finished. I coaxed the lion back in the den (so to speak) and went to the sink where Sasquatch was still standing.
And there he was picking his teeth with his fingernail.
As I was washing my hands, he started digging in his nose, and flicked little green pebbles in the sink.
He then turned and walked about of the restroom.
Think about that next time you touch the handle on a Walmart shopping cart.
Save Money. Live Better.
And have a good day!
 |
| The short bus was parked in front of my favorite hang out. Yee-haw! |
Okay, so I'm not exactly what you'd call politically correct, although I've usually got a pretty good filter. The problem, as I see it, is we live in an ultra-sensitive, entitled society which has made us into a country overflowing with lazy, thin-skinned crybabies.
That's strictly my opinion and it's probably an unpopular one, but the truth hurts.
I'm saying all of this because today I had to go to Walmart. And it's never pretty when I go to Walmart.
However, today I tried to adopt the perspective of my niece, Stacy, who said recently (on Facebook) that she loved Walmart because it "displays an array of unique beautiful individuals of God's creation."
Stacy is a good, kind soul. She's also an ordained minister and I'm very proud of her and her accomplishments.
But my faith in the humanity of Walmart was tested immediately upon entering the store.
You see, I spent the morning running errands and Walmart was last on my list places to go and things to do. After a several hours of drinking coffee, the first order of business at Walmart was to find the little boys room.
Now, employing the bathroom facilities at Walmart is only a slightly better alternative to pissing my pants. I was full of reluctance, but my bladder was fuller, so I entered with trepidation.
I found the cleanest urinal available (the one not covered in vomit or Copenhagen), and did what I came to do. Occupying the urinal beside me was a bearded man who was making odd grunting sounds.
"Muh!" he humphed.
"Muh-muh!"
For all I knew, Chewbacca next to me could have had a prostate the size of Connecticut, so I could cut the dude some slack. Soon, he put the bat back in the cave (so to speak) and headed to the sink.
I was happy to know that Grizzly Adams was going to wash his hands. Not to be judgmental (although I am), but he didn't look like the type to make personal hygiene a top priority in life.
He stood at the sink for a while, but I noticed no water was running. I could tell something had his undivided attention, but I didn't want to be a weirdo and look.
It didn't take me long and I was finished. I coaxed the lion back in the den (so to speak) and went to the sink where Sasquatch was still standing.
And there he was picking his teeth with his fingernail.
As I was washing my hands, he started digging in his nose, and flicked little green pebbles in the sink.
He then turned and walked about of the restroom.
Think about that next time you touch the handle on a Walmart shopping cart.
Save Money. Live Better.
And have a good day!
