Unexpected Item In Bagging Area
I hate it when I have to go to Walmart. Well, I guess I shouldn't say I have to go, I choose to go. The same way I choose to drink a twelve pack of beer and a pint of brandy, even though I know it will result in a horrible headache the next day.
I guess it is part of an unconscious inner self-loathing I am afflicted with and I suppose I need serious professional help. I always tell myself Walmart is closer to home and they usually have better prices, so to Walmart I go. The one good thing about it is I always find a pretty good story or at least something interesting to share. Today was no different.
So this morning, I spirited through the store getting what I needed. Surprisingly, it was fairly uneventful except when I passed the electronics section.
Two people were trying to buy TracFones and the overweight, perspiring, balding Associate was clearly overwhelmed. When a third customer with a shopping cart full of Ol' Roy, Red Bull and Tampax wandered up to the desk, Perspiring Associate sharply told her, "Sorry, ma'am. I will be with you in a... in a... in a while."
Quality service there.
I don't know why I go through self-checkout. I suppose it is that self-loathing affliction of mine.
I was only two items into my checkout when a lady's computer voice informs me: "Unexpected item in the bagging area. Please remove item before continuing."
I'm confused because I have only checked two items and nothing "unexpected" was in the bagging area. The voice in the machine puts a halt to my checkout until an Associate can investigate my misconduct.
Natalie, in her blue smock ("How May I Help You?" plastered on the back in yellow print), limps over and keys in her employee number and password.
"There you go, sir. Have a nice day."
I continue with the checkout process and three more items later, the lady's voice again rudely interrupts, "Unexpected item in the bagging area. Please remove item before continuing."
"What the hell. Really?"
Natalie, who must have a bad case of gout in her knee, gimps over and keys in her numbers again.
"There you go, sir. Have a nice day."
I was almost finished when the computer bitch stopped me a third time: "Unexpected item in the bagging area. Please remove item before continuing."
"Oh, for God's sake! Are you KIDDING?" I said this out loud and feel my face turning a little red. I was arguing with a machine. Plus, I've bothered Natalie and her bad knee yet again.
Natalie sighs, rubs her sore joint with an exaggerated grimace (I know, Natalie. I'm really sorry), then hobbles back to me again while chewing her bottom lip. She surveys the machine as if trying to decipher all the trouble, then pops in her employee number [28463] and password [7878321] (I've seen them enough that I have them memorized).
"There you go, sir. Have a nice day."
I guess it is part of an unconscious inner self-loathing I am afflicted with and I suppose I need serious professional help. I always tell myself Walmart is closer to home and they usually have better prices, so to Walmart I go. The one good thing about it is I always find a pretty good story or at least something interesting to share. Today was no different.
So this morning, I spirited through the store getting what I needed. Surprisingly, it was fairly uneventful except when I passed the electronics section.
Two people were trying to buy TracFones and the overweight, perspiring, balding Associate was clearly overwhelmed. When a third customer with a shopping cart full of Ol' Roy, Red Bull and Tampax wandered up to the desk, Perspiring Associate sharply told her, "Sorry, ma'am. I will be with you in a... in a... in a while."
Quality service there.
I don't know why I go through self-checkout. I suppose it is that self-loathing affliction of mine.
I was only two items into my checkout when a lady's computer voice informs me: "Unexpected item in the bagging area. Please remove item before continuing."
I'm confused because I have only checked two items and nothing "unexpected" was in the bagging area. The voice in the machine puts a halt to my checkout until an Associate can investigate my misconduct.
Natalie, in her blue smock ("How May I Help You?" plastered on the back in yellow print), limps over and keys in her employee number and password.
"There you go, sir. Have a nice day."
I continue with the checkout process and three more items later, the lady's voice again rudely interrupts, "Unexpected item in the bagging area. Please remove item before continuing."
"What the hell. Really?"
Natalie, who must have a bad case of gout in her knee, gimps over and keys in her numbers again.
"There you go, sir. Have a nice day."
I was almost finished when the computer bitch stopped me a third time: "Unexpected item in the bagging area. Please remove item before continuing."
"Oh, for God's sake! Are you KIDDING?" I said this out loud and feel my face turning a little red. I was arguing with a machine. Plus, I've bothered Natalie and her bad knee yet again.
Natalie sighs, rubs her sore joint with an exaggerated grimace (I know, Natalie. I'm really sorry), then hobbles back to me again while chewing her bottom lip. She surveys the machine as if trying to decipher all the trouble, then pops in her employee number [28463] and password [7878321] (I've seen them enough that I have them memorized).
"There you go, sir. Have a nice day."
"Thank you," I say. Then I feel guilty about her knee. "Sorry for all the trouble."
"That's okay, sir." She nods at the checkout machine, "She's a picky one."
I digest on this for a while. She's a picky one. But it's a machine. Right?
I've had enough of Walmart for the day year. I push my cart into the parking lot and this is what I see:
Presumably God Almighty Himself granted special privilege to the Onamia United Methodist Church to park in a clearly marked No Parking Zone.
By now, I need a couple of ibuprofen. Or perhaps that twelve pack of beer.
Only at Walmart.
