I Am Ozzy
So I've started reading a new autobiography - I Am Ozzy by Ozzy Osbourne. And without exaggeration, this is the funniest, most entertaining book I've read in the last 10 years.
I can see why it won the "Literary Achievement" award.
The book isn't for everyone. If you are offended by the "F" word, I wouldn't recommend even picking the book up, but if you can get past that, there is a hilarious story on every page that will leave you laughing out loud. It certain does that to me.
I'm not sure if Ozzy wrote this book or if it was dictated and transcribed (Ozzy talks about his dyslexia and the fact that he can't write very well), but the book is undoubtedly in his "voice."
The man is simply nuts. In a good way.
The introduction to the book is great:
"They've said some crazy things about me over the years. I mean, okay: 'He bit the head off a bat.' Yes. 'He bit the head off a dove.' Yes. But then you hear things like, 'Ozzy wouldn't perform until he killed fifteen puppies.' Now me, kill fifteen puppies? I love puppies. I've killed a few cows in my time, mind you. And the chickens. I shot the chickens in my house that night."
To me, that is just soooo funny!
Another great passage:
"Is that what you're going to wear on stage?" [the club owner] asked me, staring at my bare feet and pajama top.
"Oh no," I said, "I always perform in gold spandex. Have you ever seen an Elvis gig? Well, I look a bit like him - but of course my tits are much smaller."
"Oh," he said.
And:
"So I went down the pub with Bill and we got completely lollied. [The cider] was the farm stuff, basically one stepped removed from poison. They sold it for two bob a pint in those days, which was the only reason anyone would drink it. When you had a few pints of that stuff it wasn't like being drunk, it was like having a head injury."
Anyway, I'm just 1/3 through the book, but is a a terrific read.
I can see why it won the "Literary Achievement" award.
The book isn't for everyone. If you are offended by the "F" word, I wouldn't recommend even picking the book up, but if you can get past that, there is a hilarious story on every page that will leave you laughing out loud. It certain does that to me.
I'm not sure if Ozzy wrote this book or if it was dictated and transcribed (Ozzy talks about his dyslexia and the fact that he can't write very well), but the book is undoubtedly in his "voice."
The man is simply nuts. In a good way.
The introduction to the book is great:
"They've said some crazy things about me over the years. I mean, okay: 'He bit the head off a bat.' Yes. 'He bit the head off a dove.' Yes. But then you hear things like, 'Ozzy wouldn't perform until he killed fifteen puppies.' Now me, kill fifteen puppies? I love puppies. I've killed a few cows in my time, mind you. And the chickens. I shot the chickens in my house that night."
To me, that is just soooo funny!
Another great passage:
"Is that what you're going to wear on stage?" [the club owner] asked me, staring at my bare feet and pajama top.
"Oh no," I said, "I always perform in gold spandex. Have you ever seen an Elvis gig? Well, I look a bit like him - but of course my tits are much smaller."
"Oh," he said.
And:
"So I went down the pub with Bill and we got completely lollied. [The cider] was the farm stuff, basically one stepped removed from poison. They sold it for two bob a pint in those days, which was the only reason anyone would drink it. When you had a few pints of that stuff it wasn't like being drunk, it was like having a head injury."
Anyway, I'm just 1/3 through the book, but is a a terrific read.
