I won the war.
If you follow my blog, you might remember I mentioned a couple months ago that my scanner went belly-up after just 10 months of use. I contacted the assholes at Hewlett-Packard at the time and they informed me the product was not under warranty. I argued and argued that I had purchased the scanner just 10 months ago, how could it not be under the one-year manufacturer's warranty?
Well, my arguments were to no avail. They offered me a discount on a different product. No thanks.
Well, things got interesting today. I received an e-mail from HP telling me it's time to upgrade my warranty since the one year manufacturer's warranty was about to expire. You can imagine I just about soiled myself.
I was on the phone faster than a dog can raise its leg. I talked to Rahib or Abduhl or some damn thing and I couldn't understand a word he was saying... and no, that's not a racist statement, it is the truth. I could not understand him and his name was not Dan or Jim or Bob.
I explained the problem to him and he said he had to talk to his supervisor. After about five minutes he came back on the line and informed me that the manufacturer's warranty begins when the product is shipped to the stores, so if the product sat in the store for four months, I would have just eight months left on my warranty when I bought the product. In my case my "one year" manufacturer's warranty expired in March, 10 months after I bought it.
This sounded like mint-flavored bullshit to me, so I told Rahib or Abduhl to put his worthless supervisor on the phone.
Soon I was talking to Supervisor Mohammad or some damn thing. I asked him three questions:
- Shouldn't the manufacturer's warranty begin on the customer's date of purchase, not when the product was shipped to stores?
- If my warranty expired in March, why didn't I receive a notification alerting me that it was about to expire at that time, rather than today, June 8th?
- Doesn't this mean my product must be under warranty if your records indicate the warranty is about to expire?
He wheezed and farted through his broken English, most of which I could not understand, and then offered me the famous discount on more shitty HP shit.
I told him to stop and think about what he was saying to me. First, I have a non-existent warranty that I am being asked to extend. How is that possible? He agreed that it made no sense. Second, essentially it was my fault that I did not buy my scanner two months earlier. He agreed that it "probably wasn't the best policy" and regretted he could not change it. Then he offered me another discount.
Then I realized I was speaking to a blind, thoughtless, powerless lemming workin' for the Man. He probably hates his job.
I hung up the phone having lost the battle, but I think I won the war. Supervisor Mohammad knew I was right.
So it goes without saying that I will NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER buy another HP product. I would encourage you, dear reader, to do the same.
Buyer beware.
I told him to stop and think about what he was saying to me. First, I have a non-existent warranty that I am being asked to extend. How is that possible? He agreed that it made no sense. Second, essentially it was my fault that I did not buy my scanner two months earlier. He agreed that it "probably wasn't the best policy" and regretted he could not change it. Then he offered me another discount.
Then I realized I was speaking to a blind, thoughtless, powerless lemming workin' for the Man. He probably hates his job.
I hung up the phone having lost the battle, but I think I won the war. Supervisor Mohammad knew I was right.
So it goes without saying that I will NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER buy another HP product. I would encourage you, dear reader, to do the same.
Buyer beware.
