Carlin
I caught most of George Carlin's new HBO Special last night. Most people know he is my absolute favorite comedian. Actually, he's not so much a comedian as he is a philosopher. The man is hilarious, but at the same time brilliant.
He was going on about religion at one point and it was one of the funniest things I've heard. He talks so fast and covers so many subjects so quickly that you can't possibly catch everything he says, but this is just a quick snippet of his observations on religion:
Here's something I don't understand: Christan men are supposed to remove their hats when they enter a church. On the other hand, Jewish men are supposed to cover their heads when they enter a synagogue. Guess what, folks? Somebody has got it wrong.
When people say 'God bless America' is it a question, a statement or a request?
God told Christians that Sunday was a day of rest. He told the Jews that Saturday was a day of rest. He told the Muslims that Friday was a day of rest. You know what that means? God has a three day weekend. That's okay, He probably needs it.
Another good one:
Today's kids are so over-managed and over-structured by these twits called 'parents' that it makes me sick. Play used to be a spontaneous and joyful thing, now it is a structured activity called a 'play date,' which is squeezed in between practice for kindergarten entrance exams and sign language lessons. What happened to being a kid? What happened to playing in the yard with a stick? Do they even make sticks anymore? Or have they been recalled by the government because they could cause potential injury? Kids can't play tag in school because it encourages victimization. They can't play dodge ball because it encourages aggression. But standing around with your thumb up your ass is still okay... at least for now.
And lastly: The next time you hear someone shout from the rooftop, 'I'm an American citizen, I've got God-given rights!' you tell them they are full of shit. You want to know about God-given American rights? You go to your computer and Google 'Japanese-Americans, 1942.' There's your God-given American rights. The only thing those folks did wrong was this: Their parents were born in the wrong country. The American government stripped them of every right they had, except 'Right this way,' into the internment camp. Rights are not God-given, they are a temporary privilege which can be taken away in a second. Don't let anybody bullshit you to the contrary.
As far as I'm concerned, that's telling it like it is.
He was going on about religion at one point and it was one of the funniest things I've heard. He talks so fast and covers so many subjects so quickly that you can't possibly catch everything he says, but this is just a quick snippet of his observations on religion:
Here's something I don't understand: Christan men are supposed to remove their hats when they enter a church. On the other hand, Jewish men are supposed to cover their heads when they enter a synagogue. Guess what, folks? Somebody has got it wrong.
When people say 'God bless America' is it a question, a statement or a request?
God told Christians that Sunday was a day of rest. He told the Jews that Saturday was a day of rest. He told the Muslims that Friday was a day of rest. You know what that means? God has a three day weekend. That's okay, He probably needs it.
Another good one:
Today's kids are so over-managed and over-structured by these twits called 'parents' that it makes me sick. Play used to be a spontaneous and joyful thing, now it is a structured activity called a 'play date,' which is squeezed in between practice for kindergarten entrance exams and sign language lessons. What happened to being a kid? What happened to playing in the yard with a stick? Do they even make sticks anymore? Or have they been recalled by the government because they could cause potential injury? Kids can't play tag in school because it encourages victimization. They can't play dodge ball because it encourages aggression. But standing around with your thumb up your ass is still okay... at least for now.
And lastly: The next time you hear someone shout from the rooftop, 'I'm an American citizen, I've got God-given rights!' you tell them they are full of shit. You want to know about God-given American rights? You go to your computer and Google 'Japanese-Americans, 1942.' There's your God-given American rights. The only thing those folks did wrong was this: Their parents were born in the wrong country. The American government stripped them of every right they had, except 'Right this way,' into the internment camp. Rights are not God-given, they are a temporary privilege which can be taken away in a second. Don't let anybody bullshit you to the contrary.
As far as I'm concerned, that's telling it like it is.
