Scarecrow dung and other things
I introduced Ava to one of her Grandma Branstner’s breakfast favorites today: poached eggs. They were a huge hit. I’m not sure where poached eggs came from (other than a chicken’s butt), probably an English dish, seems like something gross the English would do: crack open an egg and boil it in water. But in this case, it tastes great. So for breakfast we had poached eggs, wonderfully greasy bacon and English muffin toasting bread, slathered in real butter. In other words, it was fantastic.
To top it off, there was an “I Love Lucy” marathon on television this morning; the first and still one of the best sitcoms ever produced. Funny script, great visuals gags and -- guess what modern-day Hollywood? -- not a solitary joke about penises or homosexuals, which seems to be the only way Hollywood writers think they can get a laugh these days (which is precisely the reason why I do not watch sitcom garbage anymore). I just heard that Hollywood writers are going on strike. I think what happened is that someone challenged them to keep it clean and still be funny, which they claimed was an unfair labor practice. After all, it’s tough to do because you’ve actually got to be clever, and come up with a plot, rather than saying “Let’s see, we need a laugh here, so let’s put in a dick joke. No, wait, we just used a dick joke. Let‘s put in a queer joke here, then come back with a dick joke later. Oh we are soooo funny.”
An absolutely perfect example of this is from a trailer I just saw for the sitcom “Carpoolers” on ABC. The scene shows a man who is having woman-trouble, and he’s sobbing with his head in his hands, blubbering “I wish I was gay.” And there you go. That’s today’s comedy.
There. I always feel better after ranting a bit.
Beth redecorated the living room today, moving out of Halloween mode and into Thanksgiving spirit. Ava quickly got over her unexplained phobia of scarecrows (or “escrow” as she calls them) and carried around a stuffed scarecrow for hours today. At one point, she laid the scarecrow on the floor and said “Poop! Poop!” while pointing at its butt.
“No, Ava. The scarecrow didn’t poop,” I assured her.
“Poop! Escrow poop!” she proclaimed.
“No, there’s no poop there.”
Then it occurred to me that I was having a scatological conversation with a 21 month old about scarecrow shit. That was bad enough. Worse yet, I actually started to wonder if scarecrows could crap, what would it look like? Chaff? Clover? ….Corn? And if they could crap, where would they go? In the field? In a little scarecrow out house? And would they have trouble with turds sticking to their straw?
Why does my mind work like this? Hmmmm, I sometimes feel tormented.
Watched the Notre Dame/Navy game today. I was nauseated how Notre Dame has its own television network (NBC). It wasn’t “The Countdown to Kickoff” show, it was “Lincoln Financial’s Notre Dame Countdown to Kickoff” show (no kidding, that was really the name of the show!). Gosh, it is a good thing that college football isn’t about the money (he said sarcastically). And while watching the game, it occurred to me that the most annoying mascot in college football is that creepy little leprechaun dude with the nappy red beard who runs around the Notre Dame sideline, flailing is arms like an epileptic. Notre Dame has a golden opportunity to come up with a cool “Lucky Charms” type mascot, a little cuddly fellow who could pass out shamrocks and be marketed to the hilt. Come on, Notre Dame! I can‘t believe you are allowing this money-making opportunity to pass you by. Trust me, your current leprechaun dork looks like a molester. That is disturbing.
Oh well, their little molester mascot didn’t help them today. Navy broke a NCAA record losing streak against Notre Dame (lost 43 straight games) and beat them in triple overtime. Great stuff.
Speaking of college football, Kansas scored 76 points against Nebraska today. Yes, we’re talking football. Kansas broke a 36 game losing streak against Nebraska (the second longest losing streak in NCAA football, after Notre Dame/Navy). So you could say today was a record breaking day. When I was a teenager, Nebraska was the best team in the country. Times have changed… well, maybe not that much. The Gophers sucked back then too.
After supper, Beth and I watched the movie “Borat.” I thought it was funny, and was an excellent study of how uptight Americans really are. I think if people were offended by that movie (and plenty were), then they probably were not comfortable in their own skin. Maybe they caught a reflection of themselves and didn’t like what they saw?
More later.
To top it off, there was an “I Love Lucy” marathon on television this morning; the first and still one of the best sitcoms ever produced. Funny script, great visuals gags and -- guess what modern-day Hollywood? -- not a solitary joke about penises or homosexuals, which seems to be the only way Hollywood writers think they can get a laugh these days (which is precisely the reason why I do not watch sitcom garbage anymore). I just heard that Hollywood writers are going on strike. I think what happened is that someone challenged them to keep it clean and still be funny, which they claimed was an unfair labor practice. After all, it’s tough to do because you’ve actually got to be clever, and come up with a plot, rather than saying “Let’s see, we need a laugh here, so let’s put in a dick joke. No, wait, we just used a dick joke. Let‘s put in a queer joke here, then come back with a dick joke later. Oh we are soooo funny.”
An absolutely perfect example of this is from a trailer I just saw for the sitcom “Carpoolers” on ABC. The scene shows a man who is having woman-trouble, and he’s sobbing with his head in his hands, blubbering “I wish I was gay.” And there you go. That’s today’s comedy.
There. I always feel better after ranting a bit.
Beth redecorated the living room today, moving out of Halloween mode and into Thanksgiving spirit. Ava quickly got over her unexplained phobia of scarecrows (or “escrow” as she calls them) and carried around a stuffed scarecrow for hours today. At one point, she laid the scarecrow on the floor and said “Poop! Poop!” while pointing at its butt.
“No, Ava. The scarecrow didn’t poop,” I assured her.
“Poop! Escrow poop!” she proclaimed.
“No, there’s no poop there.”
Then it occurred to me that I was having a scatological conversation with a 21 month old about scarecrow shit. That was bad enough. Worse yet, I actually started to wonder if scarecrows could crap, what would it look like? Chaff? Clover? ….Corn? And if they could crap, where would they go? In the field? In a little scarecrow out house? And would they have trouble with turds sticking to their straw?
Why does my mind work like this? Hmmmm, I sometimes feel tormented.
Watched the Notre Dame/Navy game today. I was nauseated how Notre Dame has its own television network (NBC). It wasn’t “The Countdown to Kickoff” show, it was “Lincoln Financial’s Notre Dame Countdown to Kickoff” show (no kidding, that was really the name of the show!). Gosh, it is a good thing that college football isn’t about the money (he said sarcastically). And while watching the game, it occurred to me that the most annoying mascot in college football is that creepy little leprechaun dude with the nappy red beard who runs around the Notre Dame sideline, flailing is arms like an epileptic. Notre Dame has a golden opportunity to come up with a cool “Lucky Charms” type mascot, a little cuddly fellow who could pass out shamrocks and be marketed to the hilt. Come on, Notre Dame! I can‘t believe you are allowing this money-making opportunity to pass you by. Trust me, your current leprechaun dork looks like a molester. That is disturbing.
Oh well, their little molester mascot didn’t help them today. Navy broke a NCAA record losing streak against Notre Dame (lost 43 straight games) and beat them in triple overtime. Great stuff.
Speaking of college football, Kansas scored 76 points against Nebraska today. Yes, we’re talking football. Kansas broke a 36 game losing streak against Nebraska (the second longest losing streak in NCAA football, after Notre Dame/Navy). So you could say today was a record breaking day. When I was a teenager, Nebraska was the best team in the country. Times have changed… well, maybe not that much. The Gophers sucked back then too.
After supper, Beth and I watched the movie “Borat.” I thought it was funny, and was an excellent study of how uptight Americans really are. I think if people were offended by that movie (and plenty were), then they probably were not comfortable in their own skin. Maybe they caught a reflection of themselves and didn’t like what they saw?
More later.
