The Vermont Teddy Bear
Are you kidding me? Have you seen that new commercial now flooding the airwaves?
The Vermont Teddy Bear! The Perfect Gift for the Perfect Girl!
Oh brother. Because I am the way I am, I had to go to The Vermont Teddy Bear website, to see what all the fuss was about. All I can say is Holy Toledo! The average cost for one of these things is $80. Perhaps I should repeat that: the average cost for one these teddy bears is $80. And if you really feel like pulling out the stops, you can buy a $200 teddy bear for that special someone. (I had some chest pains when I saw the price tags, but I feel better now).
But back to the commercial. This ad is high on the vomit scale. The scene is focused on these trout-lipped models, posing as secretaries in an office and a guy comes in and delivers a Vermont Teddy Bear to a lucky gal. “Oh, it’s so cute!” gushes one. “I can’t believe how BIG it is!” squeals another (and they say size doesn’t matter?).
The first thing that bothers me about this stupid commercial is the fact that this over-priced stuffed animal is “guaranteed for life!” Huh? Guaranteed for life? A teddy bear? I don’t quite follow that, but I guess if your chick breaks up with you and burns the bear with all of the other stupid crap you gave her, they’ve got your back.
But here’s the part that I think is laughable. Why in the hell would you buy your girl a teddy bear? I have never figured that out. I suppose this commercial is aimed at dorky guys 18-25, who still think this type of stuff is cute. And I don’t know, maybe it is? I suppose it would also be cute if you bought her a sippy cup, a bib, some diapers, a car seat, a tube of Triple Paste, some Children’s Tylenol, a six-pack of applesauce, a rocking horse and a nice blankie as well. Cute… if you’re two years old!!
If I were a woman and my man blew $80 on a stupid teddy bear for me, I would be inclined to kick him square in the nuts. If you are going to spend $80 on me, take me out for a nice dinner (something a step up from Perkin’s, please), then to a movie or a play, and then to a quiet, low-key bar for a cocktail or two. Trust me, that would get you laid a whole lot faster than buying me a frickin’ $80 teddy bear which I will eventually end up donating to Toys For Tots.
At least it’s guaranteed for life.
The Vermont Teddy Bear! The Perfect Gift for the Perfect Girl!
Oh brother. Because I am the way I am, I had to go to The Vermont Teddy Bear website, to see what all the fuss was about. All I can say is Holy Toledo! The average cost for one of these things is $80. Perhaps I should repeat that: the average cost for one these teddy bears is $80. And if you really feel like pulling out the stops, you can buy a $200 teddy bear for that special someone. (I had some chest pains when I saw the price tags, but I feel better now).
But back to the commercial. This ad is high on the vomit scale. The scene is focused on these trout-lipped models, posing as secretaries in an office and a guy comes in and delivers a Vermont Teddy Bear to a lucky gal. “Oh, it’s so cute!” gushes one. “I can’t believe how BIG it is!” squeals another (and they say size doesn’t matter?).
The first thing that bothers me about this stupid commercial is the fact that this over-priced stuffed animal is “guaranteed for life!” Huh? Guaranteed for life? A teddy bear? I don’t quite follow that, but I guess if your chick breaks up with you and burns the bear with all of the other stupid crap you gave her, they’ve got your back.
But here’s the part that I think is laughable. Why in the hell would you buy your girl a teddy bear? I have never figured that out. I suppose this commercial is aimed at dorky guys 18-25, who still think this type of stuff is cute. And I don’t know, maybe it is? I suppose it would also be cute if you bought her a sippy cup, a bib, some diapers, a car seat, a tube of Triple Paste, some Children’s Tylenol, a six-pack of applesauce, a rocking horse and a nice blankie as well. Cute… if you’re two years old!!
If I were a woman and my man blew $80 on a stupid teddy bear for me, I would be inclined to kick him square in the nuts. If you are going to spend $80 on me, take me out for a nice dinner (something a step up from Perkin’s, please), then to a movie or a play, and then to a quiet, low-key bar for a cocktail or two. Trust me, that would get you laid a whole lot faster than buying me a frickin’ $80 teddy bear which I will eventually end up donating to Toys For Tots.
At least it’s guaranteed for life.
