Good enough
A new study came out yesterday citing that people in the 40's are the most unhappy and depressed of all age groups. This study included 200,000 people from 72 countries and it appears that the "unhappy 40's" is universal the world over. This study grabbed my attention because I am nearing that age. Mind you, I am not 40 yet, but I can smell it from here -- and it smells like a silent dog fart.
The theory is that when people reach their 40's, they begin to realize that they are not going to reach the lofty goals they set for themselves in their 20's and 30's. I think that's true. As I read this study, I had to wonder how this applied to me. Besides the fact that I will be 40 in less than two years, I can't say that I'm unhappy and I can't say that I'm depressed by any means. But at the same time, I never had the aspiration to be president of a company, or President of the United States, or anything else that seemed "lofty." Sure, I wanted to be a rock star, but I knew that would never happen. My goals in life were to have a job in which I could make a comfortable living, to marry the woman of my dreams and to be the best dad I could be. So far, so good.
My dad never really doled out a lot of fatherly advice to me, but one thing he did say, which I have always remembered, came right after we lost in the state football playoffs my senior year. He said "Remember, there will always be somebody better than you." I think those were important words for me to hear, because when I went to high school at Bertha-Hewitt, I was (during my time there) a bigger fish in a small pond. When I got to the U of M, I became a student ID number and nothing more. I learned quickly that I wasn't important to anyone except my family and friends. I also learned that when you wipe away all the bullshit, that was the only thing that really mattered. That fact was driven home even further when my mom died less than two years after I graduated from high school. No one cared, except my family and friends. I learned the hard way. But I learned.
Coincidentally, just prior to this "unhappy 40's" study, I had read an article that said people who settle for "good enough" are much happier than "overachievers." The theory is that "overachievers" never appreciate what they have; they are always looking for the next big thing. People who settle for "good enough" appreciate the here and now, and are happy with what they have. Unfortunately, in the America, if you are a "good enough" type person, you are looked at as someone who doesn't shoot for the moon, and if you don't shoot for the moon, there's something wrong with you: you're lazy, complacent or will never reach your potential, and that is synonymous with the "F" word: Failure.
But if having a stable marriage, a comfortable home and a happy child means I won't be Bill Gates, I will gladly be "good enough." And if you think that makes me a failure, well, I feel sorry for you.
Gee, this was rather philosophical, wasn't it?
The theory is that when people reach their 40's, they begin to realize that they are not going to reach the lofty goals they set for themselves in their 20's and 30's. I think that's true. As I read this study, I had to wonder how this applied to me. Besides the fact that I will be 40 in less than two years, I can't say that I'm unhappy and I can't say that I'm depressed by any means. But at the same time, I never had the aspiration to be president of a company, or President of the United States, or anything else that seemed "lofty." Sure, I wanted to be a rock star, but I knew that would never happen. My goals in life were to have a job in which I could make a comfortable living, to marry the woman of my dreams and to be the best dad I could be. So far, so good.
My dad never really doled out a lot of fatherly advice to me, but one thing he did say, which I have always remembered, came right after we lost in the state football playoffs my senior year. He said "Remember, there will always be somebody better than you." I think those were important words for me to hear, because when I went to high school at Bertha-Hewitt, I was (during my time there) a bigger fish in a small pond. When I got to the U of M, I became a student ID number and nothing more. I learned quickly that I wasn't important to anyone except my family and friends. I also learned that when you wipe away all the bullshit, that was the only thing that really mattered. That fact was driven home even further when my mom died less than two years after I graduated from high school. No one cared, except my family and friends. I learned the hard way. But I learned.
Coincidentally, just prior to this "unhappy 40's" study, I had read an article that said people who settle for "good enough" are much happier than "overachievers." The theory is that "overachievers" never appreciate what they have; they are always looking for the next big thing. People who settle for "good enough" appreciate the here and now, and are happy with what they have. Unfortunately, in the America, if you are a "good enough" type person, you are looked at as someone who doesn't shoot for the moon, and if you don't shoot for the moon, there's something wrong with you: you're lazy, complacent or will never reach your potential, and that is synonymous with the "F" word: Failure.
But if having a stable marriage, a comfortable home and a happy child means I won't be Bill Gates, I will gladly be "good enough." And if you think that makes me a failure, well, I feel sorry for you.
Gee, this was rather philosophical, wasn't it?
