Bad Days
I haven't written for a while. We've had a couple of bad days here at our place. I took Martha back to the vet yesterday because she's been having increasing trouble coordinating her back legs, which makes walking a challenge for her. I took her to one of the vets at Lakeland back in June and she was diagnosed with a neurological disorder, although it wasn't definitive.
Yesterday she saw her primary vet, her doctor for the last 7 1/2 years. We have a great deal of confidence in Dr. Eberts, and we trust him very much. I am sad to report that he diagnosed Martha with degenerative myelopathy, or progressive neuroligic disorder. It is a terminal illness. There is no cure and there's no way to put it into remission.
Dr. Eberts was very honest and open about what will eventually happen: Martha will lose use of her back legs and it will move forward to her front legs, ultimately resulting in brain stem death. It usually overcomes the dog in 6-12 months from onset of the first symptoms, which we started noticing in Martha back in March. So, we probably don't have a lot of time left.
The worst part for me is that we will have to decide when enough is enough for Martha. To be honest with you, it absolutely breaks my heart in two. Dr. Eberts said, "Martha will probably tell you when she's ready." I don't know what he means by that; but, like I said, I trust him. And yes, I know there are far greater problems in this world, and I know she's "just a dog." But she's my dog. Those of you who have dogs might understand. Those of you who don't, won't.
The good news, if there is any, is that we can try to slow down the progress of this awful disease. Dr. Eberts put Martha on some supplements, anti-oxidants and a low dose of thyroid medication, because he said there are studies out there which suggest these may help. He also said Martha is in excellent physical shape and has great muscle tone, which is a tremendous advantage. Even though I know we're not going to win this war, we are determined to go down swinging.
Right now, Martha's quality of life is good, she can still move about, although it's rather clumsily, run outside and do the things she loves to do, and as long as we can maintain a good quality of life for her, we will keep fighting.
But today I did something that may seem morbid. If we have to put Martha to sleep this winter, and there is a fair chance it may happen, I want to do things on my own terms, and I want to be able to bring her home to bury her. My first choice is to bury her at the farm near Hewitt. But in the winter, this will be impossible. In fact, it will be impossible to bury her anywhere, because the ground will be like concrete.
I do not want to leave her at the clinic after she's gone, because I know they will just dump her in a truck and send her off to an incinerator some place. Martha's been a faithful old friend for a long time, and I won't allow her to be treated like that when she's no longer by my side.
So to be sure I can bring my old girl home with me after she's passed, I dug her grave today in our woods, near our fire pit. This way, at least I can place her in her grave if that awful day comes this winter some time. If not, I will happily fill it back in next spring.
Man, is this a downer. I feel better writing about it, though. Writing has always been kind of a release for me. Thanks for reading. I'll try to update more often, now that I've got this off my chest.
Yesterday she saw her primary vet, her doctor for the last 7 1/2 years. We have a great deal of confidence in Dr. Eberts, and we trust him very much. I am sad to report that he diagnosed Martha with degenerative myelopathy, or progressive neuroligic disorder. It is a terminal illness. There is no cure and there's no way to put it into remission.
Dr. Eberts was very honest and open about what will eventually happen: Martha will lose use of her back legs and it will move forward to her front legs, ultimately resulting in brain stem death. It usually overcomes the dog in 6-12 months from onset of the first symptoms, which we started noticing in Martha back in March. So, we probably don't have a lot of time left.
The worst part for me is that we will have to decide when enough is enough for Martha. To be honest with you, it absolutely breaks my heart in two. Dr. Eberts said, "Martha will probably tell you when she's ready." I don't know what he means by that; but, like I said, I trust him. And yes, I know there are far greater problems in this world, and I know she's "just a dog." But she's my dog. Those of you who have dogs might understand. Those of you who don't, won't.
The good news, if there is any, is that we can try to slow down the progress of this awful disease. Dr. Eberts put Martha on some supplements, anti-oxidants and a low dose of thyroid medication, because he said there are studies out there which suggest these may help. He also said Martha is in excellent physical shape and has great muscle tone, which is a tremendous advantage. Even though I know we're not going to win this war, we are determined to go down swinging.
Right now, Martha's quality of life is good, she can still move about, although it's rather clumsily, run outside and do the things she loves to do, and as long as we can maintain a good quality of life for her, we will keep fighting.
But today I did something that may seem morbid. If we have to put Martha to sleep this winter, and there is a fair chance it may happen, I want to do things on my own terms, and I want to be able to bring her home to bury her. My first choice is to bury her at the farm near Hewitt. But in the winter, this will be impossible. In fact, it will be impossible to bury her anywhere, because the ground will be like concrete.
I do not want to leave her at the clinic after she's gone, because I know they will just dump her in a truck and send her off to an incinerator some place. Martha's been a faithful old friend for a long time, and I won't allow her to be treated like that when she's no longer by my side.
So to be sure I can bring my old girl home with me after she's passed, I dug her grave today in our woods, near our fire pit. This way, at least I can place her in her grave if that awful day comes this winter some time. If not, I will happily fill it back in next spring.
Man, is this a downer. I feel better writing about it, though. Writing has always been kind of a release for me. Thanks for reading. I'll try to update more often, now that I've got this off my chest.
